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Now this post might upset some, and if as a result I’m grabbed by a group of angry Dutch women, and am taken to my own personal hell, the drie dwaze dagen sale at de Bijenkorf, and am forced to carry their bags while they scream at me “IK ZEG SKINNY JEANS, DIT IS EEN BOOTCUT JIJ IDIOOT.” I’ll say to my enemies, “no need to be so aggressive, I was just telling it like it is.”The things I do for my readers!

Think of Homer’s odyssey (not Simpson), Dr Richard Kimble’s quest to find the one armed man in the Fugitive, or attempting to join the SAS.

These are all childs play when compared with finding and keeping a Dutch woman.

She recommends having great photos and swiping on multiple apps — just as all conventional online-dating wisdom inevitably dictates.

Still, I think of my friend as a case study in dating-as-hobby, and an inspiring one.

It’s not so bad,” and then proceed to tell me all the different, more pleasant ways I should think about it.

Dating, they explain, is not actually like eternal tap-dancing in the seventh circle of hell; it’s actually “a numbers game,” “practice,” “a job,” or “like shopping! I already have a job; I do not need a second job, especially one that pays only in booze and banter. A dating recital, or the dating playoffs, or something?The New Year is the perfect time to finally take up ceramics, learn Mandarin, start a book club, start rock-climbing, or plant a garden.In 2018, the Cut has practical advice on trying something new. Whenever I’ve described dating as “torture” or “major surgery without anesthesia,” someone will sunnily respond, “Oh!Shopping is fun, but should we really be commodifying human beings?People aren’t H&M T-shirts, to be worn once and swapped out for something without pit stains.The Netherlands is full of expat men, whose confidence has been shattered due to their experiences in attempting to date Dutch women.

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