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For her, “sexual exclusivity” and “fidelity” are more useful terms.

“Fidelity is a relational constancy,” she explains.

But Jason repeatedly said he was naturally monogamous.

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That opportunity arose during a trip to New York, when a waitress gave him her phone number.

Although open relationships are not as shocking a concept today as they were 50 years ago, they’re still regarded with overwhelming skepticism and even disdain.

That way, they don't have to feel responsible for figuring out what's causing the feelings, or for finding a solution.” Those who have elected to allow their partner extra-relationship sex don’t “have that luxury.

You don't get to distract yourself from your feelings of loss, sorrow, insecurity or whatever by diverting them into anger toward him [or her.]”This is part of why an open relationship can be such a challenge.

He was a serial monogamist; he’d never had a “friend with benefits.” If he was having sex with someone, it was because they were dating.

Yet after years of being together, we hit a sexual wall.They should be about love, not ownership.”The dominant school of thought among journalists, therapists and the general public is that romantic relationships require a renunciation of desire in order to succeed, or at least a severe restriction of desire.“Self-sacrifice” comes up often, but rarely the question of why you want someone you’re in love with to make such sacrifices, or the possibility of long-term resentment and unhappiness if you yourself sacrifice too much.My logical side was appalled by my crying—I was going to have other partners, too! My own experiences in the past had proven to me that I could have orgasms with men I wasn’t interested in dating; I could have good sexual chemistry with men who were not conventionally attractive; and I could even have a positive sexual encounter with someone without craving a repeat.I knew Jason had practiced safer sex and I knew that he loved me.For the first two years of our relationship, I constantly teased Jason with dares that he fool around with any girl who hit on him.

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