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By that I do not mean that you should remove your filter and tell the person you’re seeing everything about you and what goes on in your mind (particularly if it’s obsessing about them, LOL).

The old ‘actions speak louder than words’ expression has stood the test of time because it’s valid: It may be less about what he or she says in those texts, and more about how often they send them.

(Read: How often they’re thinking about you.) “You’re seeking to understand a person’s character, beliefs, and principles to determine whether he or she is a good fit with you and your values,” says Nelson.

It’s not that you should sequester your heart and your feelings away behind an iron shield of indifference.

It’s just that early on when you’re dating, it pays to be aware of how much you’re giving and getting in return.

“The person for you is someone who is secure in who they are and not intimidated by you being who you are,” says Nelson.

“Sometimes people close off if they sense that you are not being your authentic self.” No need to hide your less cool, glamorous, or conventionally feminine or attractive qualities.In addition to being healthy and empowering, these habits will also make you generally more intriguing and attractive to whomever you happen to be dating. There are fewer things more tempting and entertaining than the three-hour brunch or happy hour catch-up with your girlfriends during which the conversation revolves around interpreting the mixed-signal text messages from your latest dating prospect.However, these conversations—especially when they turn into repetitive rants—can be counterproductive.So you were heart-broken you had sworn off love for the rest of your life .Turned down every offer that came your way so many times that after awhile it just became the norm.“If they’re trying to see what your interests are, what matters to you, and ask about your friends and family, it’s worth seeing where it goes.”When you’re feeling a connection, of course you want to spend tons of time together, but make sure to pace yourself. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being open about what you’re looking for in a potential match, and communicating that up front, but don’t be too aggressive.” Not only can that kind of behavior scare someone off—it’s just not how you, as an independent and confident woman, need to live.

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