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Back in 2010, I discovered a post on a now-defunct blog authored by expats in Shanghai.

The post was written by a white American woman based in Shanghai and titled, "So, how's the dating scene?

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One American participant in the study actually blamed Hollywood for projecting a poor image of Chinese men around the world, and I couldn't help but wonder if she was thinking of at the time.

Zhang's findings -- that Western women from around the world have consistently pejorative ideas about Chinese men -- remind me this isn't a problem confined to some insular expat circles in China.

The question haunted me as I pondered my crush on Tian.

But it wouldn't be the last time I would find myself up against these ideas.

While respondents praised Chinese men for certain qualities -- "looking after one's family," "willing to spend money on women," and "relatively serious about relationships between men and women" -- the admiration ended there.

Negative impressions ultimately dominated as the women criticized Chinese men as "not so gentlemanly," "poor physique, not enough exercise," "no personality, lacking unique opinions," even condemning them on perceived personal hygiene problems.

As we stopped on the corner of a side street and watched the mostly-male populous pedaling past us through the intersection, she grimaced. they just aren't." She sounded too casual for a woman who just dismissed the entire male population in China.

"Chinese men don't really seem that attractive." "How can you say that? How could these women just write off all Chinese men as undateable?

The experience of being in a foreign country and culture somehow liberated us from our usual American expectations for men and dating itself. We could even reinvent ourselves and what it meant to be in love with someone.

It seemed natural and normal to do the same in China.

He helped me buy a bicycle at the secondhand market and even gave me a ride there on the back of his black metal bike.

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