Asbergers dating syndrome

and assumes you do too."Of course, one of the twists of having AS is that you tend to develop an outsider’s perspective on social rules in general, and the world of dating is no exception.

I remember feeling disgust and then curiosity the first time someone explained the concept of “dating leagues” to me, or being stunned to learn that a girl who invites you to a hotel room to "just chill for a night" might actually mean the opposite of that, or that one who keeps postponing seeing you again is blowing you off.

asbergers dating syndrome-38asbergers dating syndrome-63

Shows like "The Big Bang Theory" and "Silicon Valley" glamorize these nerds by showing them to not only make big bucks, but actually get the girl (even if she's a nerdy girl too).

Computer and technological proficiency is not only hip, it’s essential, and so it makes sense that those most technically adept are finally getting some respect and maybe even a little nookie.

Since people communicate through both verbal and nonverbal methods, those of us with AS are frequently at a disadvantage when attempting to socialize in our personal and professional lives.

As I explained in an earlier article on my personal experiences with AS, "If life in a society is a game (and make no mistake about it, it is), having Asperger's forces you to play while learning two-thirds of the rules as you go along, even as everyone else knows them instinctively ...

Pop culture stereotypes of "absent-minded professors,""geeks," and "nerds" are familiar labels to most of us, conjuring images of rather odd and laughable eccentrics.

But for the first time in history, these nerds who we once thought of as unpopular and sexually unattractive, have been experiencing a pop culture makeover.There is some indication that for some Aspies, long term relationships and people in their lives can be like features in the landscape, valued and relied upon for continuity and familiarity.That these features may need periodic or frequent emotional care and feeding may not occur to them.Many relationship elements that I assume are essential are not necessarily relevant to my clients. I have begun to think that all of us — whether or not we have Asperger's — should create our own "operating manuals" to discuss with prospective lovers and partners.We could include all kinds of useful information, taking the sting of surprise from some issues and opening opportunities for communication that would otherwise have been closed.The AS person doesn’t always know how to tailor expression to suit his or her partner, and the partner doesn’t always know how to interpret, appreciate, or respond to the offered expression. Many with Asperger’s Spectrum eventually learn expected social and emotional skills and/or become adept at making adjustments in order to get through life, including life with a partner.

Tags: , ,